This Isn’t Funny Anymore
“I made the fucking news again!” I moaned, as I surveyed my disheveled office. “I write the news, I don’t make the news!”
After I read Anna’s message, I raced into the office with Trent. She had already called the police. Together we all catalogued what was missing, which was just a few photos and my spare clothes. Surprisingly things were just thrown about, but none of my writing was taken, and IT says the computer wasn’t tampered with. So we can only assume it was my stalker, or related to my stalker. There was no note or anything. Nonetheless, the network execs were stepping up security on the set. We still have about another month left of taping.
“It’s going to be OK. They took some fingerprints, so hopefully they can track this person down,” Trent said, massaging my shoulders.
“It’s not going to be OK. What if this has nothing to do with my stalker? And I hate making the news!”
“You’re going to have an amazing show on Netflix, you’ll have to get used to it baby.”
“Fine. I just hate making the news for bad things that happen. I want to be known as this amazing do-it-all up-and-comer, not the girl who’s fucking Trent Gregory and has a stalker!”
“But, at least they aren’t lies.”
“Always the optimist,” I said, rolling my eyes. “It’s just not funny anymore. I’m over it. I just want to make a great show!”
“And you are. And you will. It will all pass. Now, let Anna take care of cleaning this up…”
“No, I’ll do it. I’ll meet you later for dinner?” I said.
“Fine. But I’m calling Bruce to help or at least hang out for a bit to make sure you’re OK.”
“OK,” I nodded, as he kissed me gently.
***
“Honey! I read the news, are you OK?” my mother said the next day on our weekly phone call.
“Yes. I’m fine. The police and network are working on it. They’ll catch the person soon.”
“I worry about you! And when do we get to meet this Mr. Gregory?”
My mother, always getting to the important stuff.
“I don’t know, mom. Soon. Next weekend?” I offered.
I had no idea what Trent’s schedule was like, but I’m sure we could squeeze a little meet-and-greet with my parents in. He was bugging me anyway to meet them. Plus maybe a quick trip back out to Long Island would do us some good.
***
“Aren’t you scared?” Lizzy said, over lunch on Monday.
“At this point, it’s getting old,” I said. “I just want the person to be caught and to just fucking stop.”
“All the flowers are flattering though…”
“No. It’s creepy. The notes are creepy. The fact that this person is watching me is creepy.”
“OK. Changing the topic. Can we talk about how Sophia was making out with Oliver by the end of Friday night?”
“Haha. I think they are cute together. Apparently she’s had a crush on him for a while.”
“Well, that’s weird, because I could have sworn he had a crush on you, the way he was gushing about you all night.”
“You think?” I said, raising my eyebrows.
“Oh yea. Big time,” she said. “Hey! Maybe he’s your stalker!”
“I never even thought about it. He was at the office late last week when I was there with Matt.”
“I bet it’s him.”
“Or maybe it’s Sophia. Maybe she knows Oliver likes me and she’s jealous?”
“OR maybe it’s both of them and Melanie hired them both to fuck with you?”
“There’s something wrong with us. I think we both watch too much CSI.”
***
As if I had enough to worry about, I was finally going over the responses to Jess’ shower Sunday night. Her sister mailed the invites earlier in August and Anna was kind enough to collect them all for me. And then I saw it, like it was taunting me. A big, fat yes from April, Tony’s girlfriend.
“Did you know that April is going to Jess’ shower?!?!?!” I texted Emily.
“No! Why?” she immediately replied.
“I’m assuming because Tony is the best man….”
“Who cares? She doesn’t even eat meat, what’s she going to eat bread?”
“This sucks! First my relationship is revealed in tabloids, then I get a stalker and now this.”
“I can trip her when she walks in and then we can key her car?”
“And that’s why I love you!”
“:)”
This was just fantastic. It was bad enough I had to see them at the wedding together in December, but now I’d have plaster a fake smile on for the shower. Her and Jess are probably best friends by now, since Tony and Jason are best friends. Whatever, I didn’t have time to worry about it.
***
“When are you coming home?” Trent asked.
“I’ll be home by 11 p.m. Promise,” I said.
“Great. When you get home, I want to discuss a vacation soon. Some place warm, where you only need a bikini…”
“I’m in!”
I had one more script to work on and then the series would be done. It would still have to go through the network, but the execs didn’t really have many changes to the earlier ones, so I knew they’d be OK with the final one. As much as the stress of working two jobs and the stalker was putting on me, I actually really enjoyed the writing and seeing my work played out in front of me. And the idea of taking a trip with Trent was very intriguing.
Just as I was finishing up, there was a quiet knock on the door. I just assumed it was Bruce ready to take me to Trent’s, so I didn’t think when I said “Come in.”
“Hey, Penny…”
I looked up to see Sophia.
“Hey, Sophia, what’s up?” I asked.
“I don’t know how to begin…but there’s something I need to tell you…”
This Is How We Do
“You need to go to Comic Con,” said Anna.
“What? Like just to hang out? Cool!” I said.
Anna was my new agent. After finally caving to Trent’s advice, I hired Anna as my agent/assistant to sort out my schedule and appearances. It was weird having someone tell me what to do and keep my calendar, as I was doing it myself my whole life. But I felt like I was going to overbook something and miss out on important things, like Jayden’s christening or Jess’ bridal shower. Couldn’t miss those, considering I’m the godmother and the maid of honor, respectively. Anna seemed to have her shit together, like me, so I had a good feeling about her.
“No. You need to be on a panel. Netflix will have a booth and a panel to introduce new and returning shows. You need to be up there to answer questions about the show and then available for photos for at least one of the days. You have the christening that Sunday, so I think Saturday will be your best bet. Thoughts?”
“Oh. Yea. Saturday works.”
“OK. Now what do you want to get Jess for a present. The shower is the following weekend.”
“Um, I was just going to order something online off her registry. And then throw in a pair of Islanders tickets.”
“I can pick those up for you and order the present,” she said, waiting to put down what I wanted to get her on her tablet.
“Wow. I am so not used to this. I guess see what’s in the $100 range and get one big thing or get a couple little things for the kitchen. I’ll give you my login for Bed, Bath and Beyond, so you can just charge to my account. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Will there be anything else for today then?”
“No, I think you covered everything. Thank you Anna. Have a good weekend,” I said.
After I answered a few emails, I summoned Bruce to take me out to Jimmy F.’s. A group of us were getting together to let loose. The past few weeks had been so crazy, that I just didn’t have a chance to relax. Among the group were Lizzy and Paul, Emily, Jess and Mandy, Trent and Sophia and Oliver, from the show. Oliver had sort of become my new buddy on the set, which was nice because it put my mind at ease over my stalker, who was still sending damn flowers to the Tonight Show office.
The photos that were sent to my apartment weren’t leaked…yet, and Trent and I were very careful about keeping our sexcapades, as well as our PDAs, in the bedroom. And this was really the first official outing where my friends would meet Trent. I wasn’t too worried, though. Plus we had Bruce watching out for us the whole night.
“Hey Al!” I said, settling in in our usual spot by the door.
“Hey Penny! How have you been? I haven’t seen you in a while…didn’t I read about…”
“Yes! Shhh. Keep your voice down,” I said, laughing.
“So things are well then?” he said, handing me a beer.
“They are.”
“The girls coming tonight?”
“Yes. And a few new faces too. OH, guess where I have to go in a few weeks?” I said, smiling.
“Where?”
“Comic-Con!”
“No way…for your show!”
I nodded.
“I’m so jealous! You’re going to have fun. But get extra security, Lizzy told me last week about your situation. Is that why Mr. Muscles is by the door?”
“Yup. He’s my best buddy until we track down who this crazy person is.”
“Hey baby,” Trent said, coming behind me. “Hey, man, I’m Trent.”
He and Al shook hands, as I settled into my seat. It really was the first time in a while that I was able to relax. I was with my man at my favorite bar, with my friends, new and old. And even though I was still slightly tense about my stalker still being out there, I felt safer surrounded my familiar faces. It was just what I needed.
***
“LET’S DO SHOTS!” Mandy yelled.
It was 1 a.m., and we were just getting started. Al made sure to close the blinds in front of the bar and alerted the bouncer about my ‘situation,’ so no paparazzi, or stalkers could get in.
As I handed out the shots, I looked over to see Trent chatting up Emily and Jess and got all googly-eyed.
“Hey there,” said Oliver.
“Cheers,” I said, handing him a shot.
“What is this?” he said.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, turning to Mandy. “What is this shot for?”
“For being fucking awesome!” Lizzy screamed on the other side of me.
“Cheers!” we all yelled.
“Come,” Lizzy said, grabbing me, Sophia and Mandy to the makeshift dance floor as “Come Get It Bae” came on.
“You and your friends are awesome,” Sophia said. “Thanks for inviting me and Oliver.”
“Of course! You guys are phenomenal and really get the characters. I couldn’t have asked for a better cast to make my writing play out…”
“You should write more sex scenes for me and him,” she said.
Well, that was blunt, I thought.
“Hmmm. Do you have a crush on him?” I said, letting the alcohol talk.
“Maybe,” she said.
“Oh! He’s super nice! You should go talk to him some more!”
“BRUUUCCCCE,” Lizzy yelled.
I rolled my eyes and went to find Trent.
“Are you having fun?” I asked, kissing him as he wrapped me into a hug.
“I am. Are you?”
“Yes.”
“Your friends are a good time. I’m glad you invited me,” he said, getting that same googly-eyed look I had earlier.
“Eh, you know. That’s how we do.”
“You’re such a dork. We should settle up the tab, so I can take advantage of you at home.”
***
“Please don’t stop!” I said, holding his head between my legs, even though I knew he wasn’t stopping any time soon. I could feel the waves rush over me as he used his fingers to make me cum even harder.
When he felt I was good and worked up, he hovered over me, smiling and then slowly sunk into me working me up again.
“God, I love you Pen,” he said, as he buried his head into my neck and grinded his hips until I felt another wave rush over me.
“I love you too. You spoil me way too much,” I said, breathless.
After he came, he collapsed on top of me and we lay there catching our breath for a little bit.
“You really are something else. Every day I just fall deeper and deeper in love with you.”
“Me too,” I said, kissing him. “And that thing you did with the vibrator….wow.”
“Eh, you know. That’s just how I do…”
***
I woke up pretty late on Saturday, since we didn’t fall asleep until way after 3 a.m. When I checked my phone, I saw a message from Anna.
Call me when you get this. Someone broke in your office….
Obsessed
More flowers, more notes. The good news is the photos haven’t leaked yet. We let Sunny know to keep her eyes peeled for any mention or release of them, but it’s been four days and nothing yet. I just have a sinking feeling whoever it is that’s doing this will leak them at the most inopportune time. But, “There’s no such thing as bad press,” says Sunny. And according to Trent, she’s the best. She did keep his divorce under wraps for a long time. And she also reps some very famous celebrities. Since she’s a family friend of Trent’s, she’s giving us a very, very low rate for her services.
In the meantime, Trent insists on driving me and picking me up from work. I have to call or text him every hour, and he has his bodyguard friend, Bruce, escort me anywhere I want to go, whenever he can’t. Bruce is exactly what you would picture when you picture a bodyguard. Big, burly and mean looking. He’s also gay. But it was really funny watching Lizzy flirt with him, as she’s into the big, meaty guys.
“So, Bruce, how long have you been a bodyguard?” she asked, her voice suddenly perky.
We were in our office, goofing around until showtime.
“Ten years,” he said, not even looking at her.
He takes his job very seriously.
“Hey, lighten up Bruce! Penny’s not even famous yet.”
He didn’t say anything.
“Do you have a girlfriend?” she asked.
“No, mam.”
“Wife?”
“No, mam.”
“You can call me Lizzy, mam is so formal.”
“Lizzy, give the guy a break, he’s doing Trent a favor…” I said, stifling a laugh.
“Let me flirt a little! I’m going to have a ring on it soon,” she said under her breath, as Bruce smirked.
“OK, OK,” I said, rolling back to my desk and shaking my head.
“Bruceeeee,” she said. “What do you do for fun? And how are you not snatched up?”
I rolled my eyes.
“Probably the same things you like. And I didn’t say I was single, mam,” he said, as Lizzy’s eyes grew wide and her face turned red.
“Oh….I….” she stammered.
“Penny, I’m going to get a coffee, would you like one?” he asked.
“No, I’m good Bruce. Thank you,” I said, laughing as Lizzy squirmed in her seat.
“Mam?” he said, smiling. “Would you like a coffee?”
“No, I’m good,” she mumbled. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she said, throwing a paper at me.
“It was too funny watching you flirt. You are, after all, putting a ring on it soon….”
“I hate you!”
“You love me!”
“Don’t make me re-activate your Tinder account,” she threatened.
***
After the show wrapped up last night, I went back to the office on the set to bang out the last episode with Matt.
Running late. Gonna grab dinner, you want? he texted.
Just get me whatever you’re having.
As I settled into my couch reading over the notes he had left me earlier in the day, I told Bruce he could head home since Matt would be there soon. He really wanted to stay, and it took a phone call to Trent to assure him that I’d be OK the half hour alone in the office. And that I’d lock my door and make sure to not open to anyone except Matt. And that Matt would take me back to Trent’s after we were done.
Instead of reading over the script though, I pulled out all the notes sent with the flowers. They were so random. They all made reference to me in some way and someone watching me. But the instances they mention are so inconsistent. It could mean I had a real stalker on my hands. Someone who knew where I lived and worked. It creeped me out that some stranger was so obsessed with me.
I jumped when there was a knock on my door. When I peaked out the window, I saw it was Oliver, one of the actors on the show. He waved and motioned for me to open the door.
“Hey there,” he said, as I opened the door a crack. I was really paranoid.
“Hey Oliver. What’s up? I didn’t think anyone else was here this late.”
“You know my name?”
“Yea, why wouldn’t I? I know everyone’s name on the staff and crew….”
“Right. Well, I saw your light on and wanted to make sure everything was OK. I know you’ve been getting those notes and flowers…”
“How do you….”
“Security and the big, burly guy always following you around. It’s pretty hard to hide stuff on sets like this.”
“Ugh,” I said, relaxing and opening the door to let him in. “I’m such a newbie at this! And it shows. That’s horrible.”
“No, it’s not! It’s good. It’s refreshing! You know how many sets I’ve been on where the head writers/producers don’t really talk to the actors or crew? You’re so nice!”
“I’m naive is what I am. I’ve had this dream for so long, I didn’t realize I’d be giving up my freedom…”
“Well, there’s no such thing as bad press. So what if you have a stalker? It could be flattering right?”
“Eh. It’s creepy. Plus, I’m so boring! Why would anyone be obsessed with me?”
“Who wouldn’t be obsessed with you?” Matt said, walking in, looking confused.
“Oh! Matt. This is Oliver, he’s one of our supporting actors,” I said, introducing the two and taking one of the bags from him.
“Hey, man, nice to meet you,” Matt said, shaking Oliver’s hand.
“Well, Oliver, it was great chatting with you. But Matt and I have a long night ahead of us….”
“Right. Sorry,” he said, looking flustered.
“Stop by anytime. It’s nice to have another friendly face in here,” I said, smiling as he relaxed a bit.
“I look forward to it.”
“Do you think it’s Oliver?” Matt said, as soon as the door shut behind him.
“Jesus Matt. He’s not even down the hall yet!” I whispered.
“I’ve never seen him in here with you. Or around in general.”
“Matt, I hired him for Christ’s sake! It’s not Oliver. He was just looking out for me…”
“Or taking mental photographs of you for his spank bank later.”
“Oh ew,” I said, throwing a napkin at him.
“I’m just saying, keep an eye on him. I’m gonna tell that big guy to watch him tomorrow.”
“Fine, whatever. Let’s get to work.”
It was a little weird that Oliver stopped by, but he was just being nice. However, I’ve watched enough CSI to know that it’s always the nice ones that have bodies in their basements. Perhaps I would tell Bruce to do a background check on Oliver tomorrow.
Surprises
“SURPRISE!” we all yelled as Jimmy walked into restaurant his wife rented out for his birthday party.
“Oh my gosh! This is so exciting! I didn’t expect this at all,” Jimmy said, kissing his wife and baby.
As Jimmy made his way around the party thanking everyone, Trent and I found a quiet place to chat.
“So, I’m not 100 percent sure it’s not Melanie,” he said.
I had gotten two more flower deliveries. Both from different shops again. He and I had went to the police, but other than filing a complaint and telling me not to accept the deliveries, there was nothing they could do at this point.
“Ugh. This sucks and it’s getting more creepy. The last note mentioned specifics as to what I was wearing the other day,” I said.
“I think you should stay with me for a while.”
“I don’t know. I don’t think that looks good. And what happens when you have Nick? We can’t stay with each other then. I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“Penny. I don’t like this. I don’t want you to be alone. Maybe I should hire you a security guard,” he said, thinking out loud.
“I think that’s going overboard. I just think I have to be more aware of what I’m doing in public. It’s probably just some crazy person who saw me in the papers. Or maybe it is Melanie. What did she say?”
“Well, she got all defensive when I asked her. She didn’t confirm or deny it’s her, which is why I’m not sure. I mean, she could have hired someone to do it too. The fact that this person is using cash and switching up the shops is throwing me off.”
Jimmy came by then and we all chatted for a bit. I hadn’t told him about the flower deliveries yet because I wanted him to enjoy his birthday week. And I could just be blowing the whole thing out of proportion. Maybe I just had a really big fan.
“Come do Fireball shots with us!” Lizzy said, dragging Trent, Jimmy and I over to the bar with her and Paul.
And despite my better judgement I did a few more shots that night to forget all the drama that was going on. I thought that once I got Tony out of my life and when Trent signed his divorce, all the drama would stop. But it seems that since being thrown into the spotlight, the drama just keeps coming. I guess I was naive to think that I could just make my show and not be in the public eye. I was so focused on getting my work out there, I didn’t even think about the consequences and possible sacrifices I’d be making. It seems that my grown-up relationship is forcing me to be a grown-up in life.
I decided that night, in my drunken stupor, that I would be more careful when I went out with friends and Trent. I had to remember that photos could end up anywhere and be taken by anyone. I also decided to clean up my social media presence and make a fan page. I knew once the series took off that there’d be the possibility of hiring social media and web producers, but it seemed silly that since that’s my job, I couldn’t just do it now. At least until we could expand our budget.
“I want to go home,” I whispered to Trent, pushing my pelvis into his.
“Oh yea,” he said, raising his eyebrows. “You mean, you don’t want to party it up all night with Justin Timberlake?” He motioned over to the corner where JT walked in.
“Eh. Been there, done that. We can go say hi on our way out. I want you … now.”
***
Despite Trent saying he wanted to stay at his place, I insisted we go back to mine because I hadn’t been there all week. With the later nights I was having at work and the double duty I was doing, it was just easier to crash at his place when Nick wasn’t over.
When we got home, there was a big envelope slipped through the mail slot. I didn’t even think when I opened it.
“Oh my God,” I said, as I flipped through photo after photo of Trent and I in compromising positions in my office.
“What baby?” he said, coming up behind me and kissing my neck. He stopped mid-kiss when he saw the photos.
“Oh my God,” I repeated.
“Is there a note?” he said, taking out his phone and calling Sunny.
“No. Wait, yes,” I said, pulling it out.
“Seeing this was such a treat. You really never know who’s watching you. I hope you liked my flowers. I can’t wait until I can make you moan.”
I was shaking when I handed the note to him.
“It’s got to be someone in that building.”
“Sunny, Trent. Call me immediately,” Trent said, into the phone. “The good thing is, this guy hasn’t leaked these photos yet. Sunny has her team trolling papers and websites 24/7 for any mention of you or I so she can get on it quickly. But we need to tell her about this. And I think it’s time you tell Jimmy and the network people. They need to get security involved on the set and offices.”
“I can’t believe how stupid I was!” I said, quickly sobering up.
“It’s not your fault baby. Yes, we should have been more careful. But, we thought no one was in the office at the time. And no one has a right to spy on you! I still think you should stay with me. I don’t like that this person has your address now.”
I didn’t even know how to respond. I was swimming in uncharted waters without a life vest at this point. I just wanted it all to go away. Seeing how worried I was, Trent came over and put his arm around me. And then we did something we haven’t done yet. We went to bed without having sex. And I was OK with that, as he handed me a sleeping pill so I could get a good night’s sleep.
This Is Getting Creepy
“You got more flowers,” Manny said, as I walked into the building yesterday.
“Oh no! From the same place?”
“No, mam. Different shop. Is this the third shop in a week?”
“Yes,” I groaned. “This is getting creepy. The notes are so cryptic. I wish there was something you or security could do.”
“If we knew it was from the same shop, we could investigate.”
Ugh. It was getting creepy. I clearly had some sort of stalker on my hands. I had asked every one of my friends, and no one was playing a joke on me. The thought of Melanie crossed my mind – since she was now playing the victim in the settled divorce. The scorned wife – cheated on by her husband. But as much as she was a bitch, I didn’t think she’d stoop this low. But then again, who knows.
***
“Do you think it’s April?” Emily asked.
“April?”
“Tony’s girlfriend.”
“Oh. Her. Yea, I don’t think so. But you never know. She should have no reason to hate me. I mean, she got what I had. And what I don’t want anymore. I still think it’s Melanie for some reason. She is a very powerful person. Knows a lot of people.”
“Did you ask Trent?”
“I”m going to again,” I said. “He doesn’t think it is, but he said he would ask if I keep getting them. Today was the fourth bunch in three days. That’s a bit much.”
“And each note references something sort of personal?”
“Yea.”
“Do you think it’s someone on your new staff? I mean, you don’t know any of those people. Or maybe it’s some random person who saw you in the papers or something? I think you should go to the police.”
“I know. Security at work was looking into it, but this person has been using a different florist for each delivery, so it would be very hard to pinpoint. But, they said one more delivery and they will contact the police.”
“I just don’t understand why the shops just won’t give up the person’s name.”
“He paid with cash and asked to be anonymous.”
“You called?”
“Every shop. Same answer.”
“Weird.”
After I got off the phone with her, I went straight to the next show of the day. Sometimes on Thursdays, we do two tapings so Jimmy can have off on Fridays. It’s usually a long day/night, but sometimes we have Friday to post stuff. In this case however, we were all off today for Jimmy’s big birthday blowout tonight. His wife planned a surprise party and he has no clue! It’s going to be so much fun. And! Trent is actually coming with me! As a couple! It’s going to be our first big event together. Well, our first real outing as a couple together. We’ve been to work events, just had to keep our hands off each other.
I got off work last night around 10:30pm and headed straight to Trent’s apartment.
“Hey baby, how was work? You look exhausted,” he said, pulling me close and kissing me.
“Yea, I’m pretty beat. But I got all the work done, so I can just relax tomorrow before the party. I’m so pumped!”
“Well, I’m just happy I get to have you on my arm. Everyone is going to be so jealous.”
“You are way too good to me. You know that?”
“Only the best for my Pen. So tell me, you got more flowers today Manny said?” he asked, rubbing my shoulders.
“Ugh. Yes! And another shop too. Are you sure…”
“I”m going to talk to Melanie,” he said, interrupting me.
“God, you really are too good to me. You just read my mind.”
“Well, I’ve been thinking about it. And I could see it being her. She’s so manipulative and can be downright evil sometimes.”
“Emily had a thought tonight. She thought maybe it’s someone from the series. I mean, I know they did background checks on everyone. But I don’t know them like I know people at the building, you know?”
“Very true. It could be. Are you going to the set tomorrow before the party?:
“Yes. I’m going to do a little re-con.”
“That’s my girl,” he said, kissing me. “Now, let’s go forget all about all those flowers.”
He pulled me into the bedroom and for the next hour I did forget all about it. But, then I tossed and turned all night, with dreams of being chased by crazy men with creepy clown masks who morphed into zombies. Yea, I’m not bothered by this at all.
Getting in the Groove
Go to the set. Go to the office. Go to the office on the set. Go home. Have sex. Go to sleep. Repeat. That has pretty much been my life for the past week, but I was getting into the groove, which was good. I’m not really complaining. I’ve just been super tired. And now that Babs has been on the show, it’s been much quieter. We do have Jimmy’s birthday coming up in a few days and it’s the big 4-0. But there will be more on that in a later post.
Being on a working set and having input on the scripts has been the best experience I’ve had in a long time. My directors have been great in letting me change things around that don’t work. And we had Channing Tatum in yesterday!
“Hey there, superstar,” Channing said, giving me a hug. (swoon!) “Great part you wrote for me!”
“Thanks! I tried to capture your essence with some embellishments.”
“You did! You have a gift my friend! Don’t lose it,” he said, giving me that Channing smile.
It’s a shame he was married….I mean. I miss Trent!
***
“So this is your new office?” Trent said, later that night.
“Yes. Can we christen it now?” I said, tugging at his belt.
“Frisky today? Channing got you hot and bothered?” he said, kissing my neck.
“No…”
“Liar,” he said, kissing my collarbone and sliding my dress strap down.
“Trent, come on!”
“Slow down baby. We’re going to enjoy this,” he said sliding his other hand up my dress as I moaned.
I bit down on his shoulder as he slid a finger inside me. I knew the walls were pretty thin and with the news of our ‘affair’ still fresh on people’s minds, I didn’t need people to hear us, though everyone had gone home for the night.
As he pushed me back on the desk and thrust into me, I thought I heard a noise outside the door.
“Shhh, baby stop for a second,” I said, turning toward the door.
“What? Did I hurt you?”
“No, I thought I heard something. Whatever, let’s keep going,” I said, still a little paranoid.
“Do you want me to check?” he said, seeing the concern on my face.
“No, it’s fine. I’m probably just overtired.”
***
“Penny – dah-ling, it’s Sunny!” Sunny boomed into the phone way too early this morning.
“How are you Sunny?” I said, groggily as Trent curled up behind me.
“I’ve emailed over a press release on your show to you. Give it a once over and get back to me ASAP. I want to get it into some magazines with some photos from the set.”
“I will look right now. Thanks Sunny!”
“What did she want, baby?” Trent asked, tracing circles around my nipples as they got hard. “Was she calling to tell you that you have the best boobs, ever?”
I rolled my eyes, as he took one into his mouth and got me all hot and bothered.
“Do you want to know or are you going to keep distracting me?”
“No one is stopping you!” he said, smiling and working his way down my stomach.
“She wrote up a pr….oh,” I said, as he found my spot.
“What did she write?” he said, stopping for a second.
“A press release on the show. Don’t stop!” I said.
“Yes, mam!”
***
I went straight into the Tonight Show office after our morning sex, as they were grabbing stock footage around the city for the series. I had stayed up late last night writing up locations and shots that I wanted. When I got into the office, I had two story ideas from Matt, which was great because with the stress of everything I had a bit of a writer’s block. Plus, he was so used to writing and acting and being awesome essentially, I liked having him as my right-hand man.
When I got back from lunch with Lizzy, there were flowers on my desk.
“Ohhh. Who are those from?” Lizzy asked, grabbing the card before me. “Can I read?”
“Um, sure. I don’t know who they could be from though. Trent knows I’m not a flowers kinda girl.”
“Dear Penelope – You make my heart skip a beat. Seeing you is always a treat. Next time I hope for more than just a peek. XX,” she read. “Hmmm. Weird, it has no name.”
“What the fuck. No one calls me Penelope, not even my own mother! And what does ‘more than just a peek’ mean? Let me see that,” I said, taking the card from her.
I immediately texted Trent, who said he wasn’t playing games with me. And then I called Manny, the security guard, to find out which delivery company came. When I called the place they said the guy wished to remain anonymous. Now I was freaked out. It had to be one of my friends fucking with me though, right?
And then I remembered the noise I thought I heard last night when we were going at it in my office. Shit! I thought. It was too late to call Sunny, so I shot her a quick email and then called Manny for an escort out of the building. I was really hoping this was just a joke, but had a funny feeling it wasn’t.
First Day of School
“For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Penny Redstar, the creator of this great series. And I’m excited to be working with each and every one of you to make this successful. I’m eager to learn from you and to teach you at the same time. I want to absorb this experience and I hope you do the same. Now, let’s do this and make the best damn show possible!”
Phew! It was a pretty nerve-wrecking first day on the set. Miriam had let me take the day off so I could really focus on the show and get to know the staff and crew. I was also pretty nervous given the news of my ‘affair’ hitting the media last week. Sunny had done an amazing job issuing a statement on behalf of Trent, explaining that he was in the process of finalizing his divorce. And just as Jimmy and I had suspected, once my name was out there, it was trending for a while. Buzz was out about the show. I guess it’s true what they say, there is no bad publicity sometimes. In this case, it worked out — at least for now.
Friday was a glorious day.
“I’m a free man,” Trent said when he came by to pick me up for dinner.
“Oh that’s good. I’ve been meaning to tell you this isn’t working out, so you can let your other girlfriends know you really are a free man,” I said, giggling.
“Hardy har har,” he said, grabbing me and kissing me.
“That’s my line!” I said, still laughing.
“Now you’re gonna get it,” he said, slapping my ass and chasing me into the bedroom.
“We have to go to dinner!”
“We’re ordering in. I want you now.” And with that he pushed up my dress, ripped off my panties and went to work between my legs.
When he finally sunk into me, it was just as amazing as earlier in the week. As I said, something changed that night he told off Melanie. We were truly no longer fuck buddies. We were lovers, as cheesy as that sounds. And now that his divorce was final, it was like a weight had been lifted off our shoulders. Granted, I knew there’d still be issues with her and their son, but I knew we’d all be able to handle them.
***
“Shit!” I said, as we walked outside the next day.
There were a few paparazzi hanging out outside my front stoop.
We ran back inside.
“How the hell did they find out my address?” I said, shaking a little bit.
“Let me call the cops and Sunny.”
Within the hour, the cops got rid of the group, but I was still shaken up. I spent the rest of the weekend dressed down and wearing a hat and sunglasses. So cheesy, but I also spent the weekend looking over my shoulder. I ended up hiding out at Emily’s on Saturday night. We drank wine and watched our favorite movie, “I Love You, Man.”
“So what are you gonna do? I mean, you can definitely stay here forever and be my permanent sitter…” she asked.
“I don’t know. Sunny is going to handle it. Or so she says. This just sucks though. Something so good is turning into something so stressful.”
“At least your name is out there, so when your show finally launches people will be curious about it.”
“That is the silver lining. More wine please,” I said, holding out my glass.
“Are you nervous?”
“Is that a serious question? Of course I am! Especially now. I want everyone to take me seriously. Not look at me as the town slut.”
“Maybe not a slut, but possibly a homewrecker.”
“Shut up cooter!”
I spent most of Sunday playing with Jayden until Trent convinced me it was safe to go home. I knew at that point I was overreacting and needed to be a grown up about it. Plus I needed to go over my first day speech with him.
***
I didn’t have much to worry about though. After my welcome speech, I toured the set with the designers and floor manager. I met most of the crew and then we did our first read-through of the first episode. The whole thing was so surreal. But everyone was super friendly and really pumped to be working on the project. Aubrey Plaza made everyone comfortable. And it helped to have Matt there with me.
It was a long day, but we did manage to block a lot of the scenes. And when the director yelled action for the first taped scene, it brought a tear to my eyes. This was actually happening. My dream of having my own show was coming true. All that stress and worrying was worth it because there wasn’t any other place I’d rather be right now.
Damage Control
“This is bad,” I said, sitting down and taking a big sip of the beer and passing it back to Trent. “This is really bad.”
“You need a publicist or PR rep. I called mine. They are working on a spin for the story,” he said, sighing. “This is exactly what I didn’t want.”
Oof, I thought. Trent looked up and saw my face when he said that.
“Oh baby, I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, coming up behind me and putting his arms around me. “I don’t regret anything with you. I just don’t want to see the people I love hurt.”
“We’ll get through it,” I said, optimistic, but really not knowing how this would play out.
Would his ex-wife not sign the divorce papers? Would she ask for more money? Would this kill my show’s publicity or would it help it? I’m an unknown after all. Maybe this was a good thing? No! That’s horrible to even think that. There were so many unanswered questions that were swirling through my head, I didn’t see that I had a few missed calls.
“Hi honey! Are you OK? Barbara Stenson just said she saw you in the paper with that news anchor! Call me back!” from my mom. Great!
“Jesse just read the paper. Are you OK? Is he divorced yet? How did they get that photo?” from Emily.
“I know you’re freaking. You’ll be OK. Call me!” from Jimmy.
“So, what’s our next move?” I said after I listened to the messages.
“I have a meeting with my PR rep at 9am,” he said, opening another beer.
“OK. I’ll go with you.”
“Are you sure? You can just hide out, if you want. This isn’t your mess to clean up.”
“No, it’s our mess. There are two of us. We were careful, but clearly not careful enough.”
“I love you,” Trent said, kissing me lightly and then more intensely.
We started to paw at each other when there the buzzer rang. Trent went to answer it and then I heard her.
“YOU ARE SUCH A FUCKING ASSHOLE! You couldn’t have waited two more days!” Melanie yelled.
And then I heard a slap.
“Melanie, calm down. The news of our divorce was going to go public in a week anyway, so we move it up,” Trent said, trying to calm her down.
“Is she here? That little slut.”
My eyes darted around for a place to hide. Quite juvenile.
“Melanie, honey,” Trent started. “Please calm down and let’s talk about this like adults. How many affairs have we both had?”
“That’s not the POINT?!? What about my career? My life? Do you know how embarrassing this is?”
Gee, I thought. I wonder why they are getting divorced.
“It’s embarrassing for all of us. But it’s fine. I’m going to talk to my PR rep tomorrow with…”
Good one, Trent.
“With who? With her? Jesus Trent. You don’t waste any time. She’s a kid! You think her show is really going to last? She’s a web producer for Christ’s sake!” she scoffed.
Well, fuck you too, bitch.
“THAT IS ENOUGH!” Trent yelled. I never heard him yell. “I sat back for years while you worked on your career. I played house-husband to our son while you went off and had affairs. Insisting it was best for our relationship. And now, now that we are getting a divorce finally, you are going to deny my happiness? I’ve had enough of your shit. Get the fuck out. I will see you on Friday when we sign the papers. And I swear, Melanie, if you even think about saying anything negative to the press, I will fight for full custody.”
I could see out into the living room. As Trent threatened full custody, Melanie quivered a little bit. And as serious as all this was, I was the sick person that was really turned on by Trent’s aggressive demeanor toward Melanie. I knew he wasn’t happy in his marriage, but I had no clue about how he sat back all those years. It actually made me love him even more.
I could hear him sigh as he closed the door behind her. I walked over to him silently as he lead me by the hand into the bedroom. And while the sex is always amazing between us, something changed that night. Something magical happened. We made love. It wasn’t fast or rushed. It was slow and oh so pleasure-filled. And right before we came together, he looked into my eyes and told me he loved me, which certainly put me over the edge.
***
“Sweetie! Of course, I’ll take you on as a client. And since you’re a friend of Trent’s, I’ll give you a package deal,” said Sunny. She reminded me of Estelle from Friends. But, I needed someone for times like this. I needed someone who could get in front of a PR nightmare and do damage control. And Sunny and her team seemed great and affordable.
***
When I got to work yesterday, I could see the paparazzi in front of the building. I quickly turned around and went in the side entrance. I texted my favorite security guard, Manny, to come get me.
“You’re quite the entertainment for these guys, today, Miss Penny,” said Manny, putting his arm around me and leading me to the elevator bank.
A rogue photographer dressed as a tourist jumped out in front of us, but Manny stopped him and signaled for another guard to lead him out.
“You call me later when you need me to walk you out, OK?” Manny said, concern in his eyes.
“I will, Manny. Thank you,” I said, grateful for another friendly face.
***
“You had quite a few 24 hours, didn’t you?” Jimmy said from behind his desk.
I have to be honest, I almost felt like a kid in the principal’s office. The one thing about Jimmy Fallon that I’ve always admired was he always managed to stay out of the spotlight. And when he was in the news, it was always good news. And here I was, his star web producer and protege TV writer – getting involved with a ‘married’ news anchor and putting it on blast right before my series, that he got me, starts filming.
“You OK?” he said, concern in his eyes, putting me at ease.
“Yea, I think so. You know he’s signing the divorce papers on Friday, right?”
“Penny, I don’t care. I genuinely care about you. You’re my friend. This is your first time with this kind of publicity. I know you guys have Sunny’s team on the spin, but I also have NBC reps ready in case you need it. I think it will die down pretty quickly,” he said.
“OK. Good, thank you. It is a little overwhelming,” I said, relieved that he wasn’t pissed.
“And, I know this is a horrible thing to say, since I like both of you, but this might actually turn out really well for the show. It will give it some free publicity. I mean, who doesn’t want to watch a show written and developed by the woman who snagged the hottest news anchor on the evening news?”
And for the first time in 24 hours, I smiled and laughed.
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