Big news….for everyone else

*These events happened in December 2013*
**Editor’s note: I know it’s been a looong time, but I’m going to fill you guys in on Penny’s life for the past few months and then come back with even better adventures! Thanks for reading!**

“So, I have news,” Emily said over pizza and breadsticks at Pizza Hut.

It was our bi-annual gross dinner at the Hut. Tony and her husband Jessie hate that we eat here, but it’s our stupid thing that we do all the time.

“You’re pregnant?” I said.

“Yes.”

“Wait, what? I was kidding. Are you really?”

“Yup. I’m only at 10 weeks, so we’re not telling everyone yet, but I wanted to tell you first.”

“Yay! I’m gonna be an aunt! This is so exciting! When are you due?”

“Middle of June.”

“Jessie must be so excited.”

“Oh my God, he can’t stop! He’s picking baby names and asking how I want to design the baby’s room already.”

“I hope you have a boy, then he can date Jimmy’s daughter.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“Well, I have news too. Tony finally found a renter for his apartment, so he’s officially all moved in.”

“You don’t sound happy about that.”

“No, I am. It’s just a lot, especially with the holidays and stuff. And with work. And did I tell you Jimmy scheduled meetings about my screenplay?”

“NO! That’s awesome! Congrats.”

“I’m thinking we probably should have picked a better place that Pizza Butt to celebrate tonight, huh?” I said laughing.

Truth was, I was stressing out a lot. I finally focused on work and realized there was a lot to do before the launch in February. Plus I was staying up late when I got home writing the pitches for my meetings, which was annoying Tony because he gets up so early. And our sex life had declined since he moved in. I thought it would be the complete opposite, but he was always so tired or sleeping when I got home from work. And with him leaving early, he lets me sleep when he leaves. Perhaps I’ll set my alarm to wake him up properly this week.

************************************************************************************

“What the? Baby, what are you? Oh….” Tony mumbled, as I took care of his morning wood.

“Well, since when are you a morning person?” he said, cuddling with me.

“I’m not. I just…I feel like we are different pages lately….” I trailed off. I didn’t want to have this conversation so early.

“I know. I’m sorry. I was thinking the same thing. I was going to try and see if I can train some people in the afternoons instead, so I can be home a few nights with you. I know you can’t change your schedule. And I know you have those meetings coming up…”

“I love you,” I said, kissing him. “What time do you have to leave for work?”

“Not for another 45 minutes,” he said, rolling on top of me.

************************************************************************************

“So, we have some news,” Jessica said, shoving her hand in my face over dinner with her and Jason.

“Oh My God! Jess! Congrats!” I said, admiring her ring. “Oh, good job Jason.”

“Dude! You didn’t even tell me,” Tony said, getting up to hug Jason.

“I knew you’d blab to Penny,” Jason said, laughing.

“Oh and you thought I’d blab? I’m insulted,” I said, hugging him and Jessica.

Inside, I was crying. Tony and I set them up less than a year ago. But I had to be happy for her. This is what she’s been waiting for. This, however, means that I’m the last ‘single’ one of the group. Living together is a step in the right direction. Plus, after my morning wake-up, Tony and I had a long chat about how we can really make this work. We both agreed, it was stressing us both out, but he completely understood that my job is crazy right now. We were going to get through the holidays, and clearly now this unexpected news, and then start making an effort to have ‘us’ time, be it just dinner at least once a week and making ‘sex dates.’ I was happy he didn’t freak out on me when I brought it up. I was worried he would try to pin everything on me, which would be technically true because I was the one with a weird schedule and trying to jumpstart something else. But he knew that my career is important to me and is supportive.

I was going to have to try and keep my emotions in check about Jess and Jason getting engaged. I could see Tony sort of squirm in his seat as they re-told the story of how he proposed….at an Islanders game on the Jumbo-tron….perfect for Jess. I think it’s safe to say that he is most likely feeling the pressure too.

One thing at a time, Penny. One thing at a time.

Meet the Parents

*These events happened in November 2013*
**Editor’s note: I know it’s been a looong time, but I’m going to fill you guys in on Penny’s life for the past few months and then come back with even better adventures! Thanks for reading!**

It’s been so busy since Tony moved in, that I was not focused on work at all. Which was bad because we were launching The Tonight Show stuff in less than three months. Plus, as busy as he was, Jimmy was still shopping around my screenplay.

“So, you’ve been distracted,” Jimmy said, over lunch.

“Yea. Getting used to living with someone. We have opposite schedules sometimes, which is frustrating,” I said. “How’s the baby?”

“She’s great, want to see a picture,” he said, taking out his phone.

“Always.”

“So, I have meetings lined up in December with Netflix and Amazon about your screenplay. Do you think you can write up a treatment, and maybe a rough draft of a first episode?”

“Yes. Absolutely! You really don’t have to worry about this right now though. You have so much going on with the Tonight Show.”

“It’s totally fine, really, I don’t mind.”

“Have I ever thanked you for everything you’ve ever done for me?”

“Every day. Not stop being so emotional.”

The truth was, I felt like everything was moving so fast. Work wise, we had little time to not only launch the new site in February, but come up with new ideas for sketches and a bigger web presence. In addition, they were launching a new app AND we were switching content management systems.

In my personal life, it was true, living with Tony was a big adjustment. It’s completely different from living with a roommate. Truth be told, as much as I love spending time with him, my favorite times are in the mornings after he’s left for work when I have the place to myself. I know it’s horrible to say that, but I’m pretty sure he feels the same. But I love him, and I know this is moving our relationship in the right direction. Plus, we were going to split up the holidays this year with his family and my family, which is also something I’ve never done. Tony met my parents once or twice during the year, and vice versa, but this was now extended family and I was extremely nervous.

We decided Thanksgiving would be with my family, Christmas Day with his and then spend Christmas Eve just the two of us, since we had to work anyway.

***********************************************************************************

“Is your family always that quiet during the holidays?” Tony said, on the way home.

“Yea. We run out of things to say. I used to try and fill up the awkward silences, but I got tired of it.”

“Hmmmm. OK. My family is so loud. It’s great. You’ll love them at Christmas!”

“Yea, I can’t wait! Oh, what do you want for Christmas? Anything in particular? Or should I raid the Late Night closet.”

“Hardy, har har. I don’t know. We could get something for the apartment. I mean, you already got me that really nice and most likely expensive watch for my birthday.”

“So what? This is Christmas.”

“Isn’t it our one-year anniversary too?”

“Oh yea. I think so. Should we celebrate?”

“I really think you’re the perfect girl, you know that?”

“Why do you say that?” I said, laughing.

“Because you don’t care about shit like that. Do you know that Hillary always wants to celebrate every little thing with her boyfriends? I tell her that scares guys away.”

“Hmmm. Why are we talking about her?”

“Will you stop. I was just saying that you’re awesome.”

He had been bringing her up a lot recently. Usually some silly story about when they hung out or her latest date. I found it odd, but appreciated how open he was with me about their relationship.

Anyway, later in the week, I spoke with my mom about what she thought of Tony.

“Well, you really don’t have much in common with him,” she said.

“Mom, we have a lot in common.”

“Do you really like going to the gym that much? That’s all he talked about.”

“Stop it. Yes. That’s his job, of course, he’s going to talk about it. You are being way too critical.”

“I just want you to be happy, that’s all. I don’t like that you live together. And how come you won’t be here for Christmas?”

“Because we have to work on Christmas Eve and then we’re spending the day with his family. And I am happy. And we’re living together because we’re getting serious, this is a good thing.”

Ugh. This was the last thing I needed. Drama from my family. This was why I didn’t like bringing guys home. No one was ever good enough for me. Well, I guess with my track record, they had a point. But, Tony was different. Can’t wait for Christmas. Hopefully his family isn’t as critical of me!

Maybe I really don’t like change

*These events happened in November 2013*
**Editor’s note: I know it’s been a looong time, but I’m going to fill you guys in on Penny’s life for the past few months and then come back with even better adventures! Thanks for reading!**

“Penny, can I clear out a cabinet or two to make room?” Tony said.

It was moving day and I was having a hard time with it. Apparently, as much as I say I like change, I really don’t. I realized that we both had way too much crap, and my co-op was just way too small. Things had to go, I was getting cranky and Tony was getting irritated.

“Yea, sure. Tony, maybe we can put this computer up in the attic….” I said, annoyed that we would now have four computers in the place.

“Why?”

“Because we’re going to have four computers. We don’t need four computers.”

“Are you putting yours up there?”

“Maybe.”

“Maybe. What the hell, Penny? Do you even want me to move in?” he said.

“Yes. I just…this is a lot. I’ve never lived with anyone before. There is a LOT of stuff….”

“Well, get over it! I could just stay at my place, we don’t have to do this.”

He was living in his parents’ downstairs apartment. There was a tenant in the upstairs of the house, so Tony was sort of the landlord. He was going to keep the place for storage for a little bit until his parents found a new tenant.

“No, I want to. Ugh.”

As we unpacked boxes in silence, I just got upset. This was supposed to be happy and I was feeling like crap. And I hated the silent treatment from him.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said. It was all I could muster.

He just looked up from what he was doing and shrugged. Later that night, as we got into bed in silence again, I felt like crap and started to cry.

“Baby, don’t cry. I don’t want to rush you with this, if you’re not ready.”

“It’s not that. I just…I don’t know.” The truth was. I was scared. As much as I loved Tony, I was worried that if I got rid of things in my apartment to make room for him and then we broke up, then I’d have to get more things. It was stupid. I knew that if I told him that, he’d really be mad. I didn’t know how to convey that without sounding like an asshole. This was a scary step for me.

“I hate fighting with you,” I finally said, through tears.

“I know, baby, I know. I love you. We’re going to be OK.”

I smiled as he wiped away my tears and kissed me softly. “I love you too.”

************************************************************************************************

I don’t know why I agreed to meet up with Scott, yet again. The last time I walked out on such a high, I didn’t know how to top that. Plus I already knew he was going to tell me he was getting married. I had heard through the grapevine this was happening. I mean, I appreciate him wanting to tell me in person, but I was so over him, I just didn’t care.

We met up at Croxleys, again. He ordered me the Delirium.

“Hey,” I said, sitting down. I didn’t even hug him. “I have to be somewhere in about an hour, so we’ll have to make this brief, sorry.”

I knew I was being a bitch, but I was still on edge about Tony moving in and I really wanted to get home to make sure we were still OK.

“Oh…um….OK.”

“So, what did you need to tell me?”

“I’m…we’re….Nikki and I are getting married.”

“OK.”

“Are you upset?”

“Scott, why should I be? Why are you even telling me this?”

“I wanted you to hear it from me and…..”

“This is dumb. I shouldn’t have come. An email would have sufficed.”

“Penny, don’t be like this. I just want to know you’re going to be OK.”

“Do you honestly believe that I’ve been pining away for you for the past five years? Seriously Scott. I just moved in with my boyfriend. We’re happy. I’m happy. And you’re happy. Everyone is happy. Everyone is going to be OK. And honestly, would it even matter to you if I wasn’t going to be OK? You cheated on me with her. You hurt me. Accept the fact that you did that. And move the fuck on. I did.”

I didn’t even drink the beer he ordered for me. I just walked out. It was dumb to bring up those old feelings. I was a masochist.

I walked in that night pissed off. Tony could sense the tension.

“I told you not to go,” he said, getting annoyed that I was annoyed.

I always hated that about him. He never lets me be the one to be angry. He has to be angry too. Like with the pregnancy scare, how he stormed out. I know I keep bringing that up and I have to let it go, but it keeps haunting me. And now with the move and everything. I needed to get into my happy place. I needed to get my head back into our California trip or back on the beach somewhere.

“I know…I…can we just not do this anymore? This bickering. We should be in our honeymoon phase, not our fighting phase.”

He just looked at me.

“Please.” I curled up into his lap, and he held me for a long time. I felt safe with him. I knew we were making the right decision. We just needed to be on the same team.

Penny and Tony’s Week Of Fun (said in Janice from Friends’ voice)

*These events happened in October 2013*
**Editor’s note: I know it’s been a looong time, but I’m going to fill you guys in on Penny’s life for the past few months and then come back with even better adventures! Thanks for reading!**

“OK. Kim Kardashian, Shakira and Amanda Peet?” I said.

“Who?” Tony asked.

We were playing F, Marry or Kill on our drive up from San Diego to Los Angeles.

“Amanda Peet…she was in 2012….and a few other films….,” I said, drawing a blank. “I don’t know, she just came to my mind.”

“Fine. Kill Amanda, Fuck Shakira and Marry Kim,” he said.

“Wait, seriously? Marry Kim?”

“Yes.”

“Wow, I didn’t see that one coming. You learn something new every day, I guess. You go,” I said. “And then we stop in Huntington Beach in 10 miles.”

“Channing Tatum, Alexander Skarsgaard and Taye Diggs,” he said, laughing.

“Well that’s not fair. I’d like to fuck them all.”

“That’s not the game, missy.”

“Ugh fine. Forgive me Alexander….Kill Alexander, marry Channing and fuck Taye.”

“I always knew you wanted some chocolate in your life!”

“I don’t discriminate. I love all penises.”

“Wow. Just. Wow.”

After a quick stop in Huntington Beach, we made it to L.A. in time to check into the hotel, squeeze in a quickie and head off to dinner. We had reservations at Engine Co. No. 28, this great firehouse-turned restaurant. Jimmy had recommended it and then proceeded to have his secretary make the reservation. He also had her secure a private tour of the area, including Beverly Hills, Venice Beach, Malibu and the Hollywood sign for the next day. Amazing. We had to get to bed early that night, because I knew it was going to be a long day of touring.

At the observatory in Griffin Park, we took cheesy pictures in front of the Hollywood sign and then went for a hike. When you date a personal trainer, one can only expect to workout while on vacation.

“It’s quiet here, come here,” Tony said, pulling me close.

“This is a great view, too bad it’s of L.A. and smog,” I said.

“I like the view right in front of me. I really love you, Penny,” Tony said, all serious.

“I love you too! You’re the best thing to ever happen to me,” I said, kissing me.

“I think we should move in together….”

“Oh. Um. OK. I like that idea. But you know I own my place right?”

“Yea. I was thinking I could move in with you. Try it out, I really see us going somewhere….”

I just smiled and kissed him again. We held hands, all lovey-dovey for the rest of our hike.

This was a HUGE step for us and for me. Even though Scott and I were on-and-off for four years, it never got this serious. Moving in with someone. We’d be dating for a year in December. But this could lead to marriage. WHAT?!?! This is just crazy. But I’m getting ahead of myself. He’d been engaged once before, so I had to tread lightly. As much as I loved him, the way he reacted when I might have been pregnant shot up a lot of warning signals.  Plus, he just stormed out that time and now he wants to move in? Hmmm. I guess I’ll have to see how he feels when we get back.

The rest of the trip was great. We hit up DisneyLand and Universal, as well as partied at CityWalk. We also ate at Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles and Killer Shrimp in Venice Beach. I was almost tempted to get yet another tattoo, but I knew Emily would kill me. We rode the ferris wheel in Santa Monica, and laid on the beach in Malibu. It was an amazing trip, with an amazing man. And I was excited to see what our future held.

While waiting in the airport to head home, I checked my email on my laptop. There was one from Jimmy about my screenplay, saying he wanted to discuss it when I got back, before he got crazy busy with the Tonight Show. And then there was one from Scott. WTF. I hadn’t heard from him in months.

To: Penny R.
From: Scott
Long time, no see

Penny,
Hey! How have you been? I’ve seen you on Jimmy a few times, so I take it the job is amazing. Glad to see you’re living your dream! 🙂 Will you be going to the Tonight Show too?

Anyway, I’d love to catch up with you. Are you free this week?

Love, Scott.

I had a knot in my stomach. I had a sinking feeling I knew what he was going to tell me. And as much as I was on a high from Tony and moving in together, I couldn’t help but feel like crap knowing he would probably tell me he’s getting married.

Make-Up, Birthday and Vacation Sex

*These events happened in October 2013*
**Editor’s note: I know it’s been a looong time, but I’m going to fill you guys in on Penny’s life for the past few months and then come back with even better adventures! Thanks for reading!**

“Wow.”

“What?” I said, coming out from under the covers.

“Wow,” Tony said again. “I don’t know what was better this week, the make-up sex or the birthday sex.”

“Just wait until our vacation sex!”

“MMMMmm,” he said, as his fingers traced my breasts and hips. “How much time do we have before our dinner reservation?”

“Enough time for you to have some birthday cake,” I said, as he ducked under the covers.

********************************************

“You guys are late,” Jessica said, as we did arrive late for dinner.

“I know, sorry,” I said, giving her and Jason a hug.

“What was the holdup, buddy?” Jason said, raising his eyebrows at Tony.

“Oh, Penny was just giving me my birthday presents,” he said.

“What did you get?” Jessica said.

“This amazing vintage watch,” he said, showing it off. “I don’t know how she found it. Must have used her connections at work.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I never use my connections,” I said, laughing.

The night went on like this for a while, that is, until Hillary showed up for drinks at the bar later on. I know I said I’d promise to be nice to her, but it’s so hard when it’s almost a competition of who knows Tony better. But, it was his birthday and I played nice, even when she kept pulling him away to do ‘their shots.’

********************************************************************

“Thank you,” Tony said. Even though he was drunk, we managed to squeeze in some drunk sex before cuddling up in bed.

“You’re welcome.”

“No really. I was so shitty to you last week and you still put together a great birthday for me AND I know how hard it was for you with Hillary there.”

“No, she was…”

“Don’t lie to me,” he said, getting serious.

“Fine. I just don’t like her. She rubs me the wrong way. But I know that it’s about us, so I’m learning to deal with it better. Even if I don’t like it.”

“I love you,” he said, kissing my head.

“I love you too.”

*****************************************

“Move your leg up,” Tony said.

“I’m not that flexible. Wait, move your body this way,” I said, getting frustrated.

Apparently after our trip earlier in the year, Tony wanted to join another Mile-High Club across country on our trip to California. It wasn’t working this time.

“Oh wait, I got it. This way,” I said, leaning over the toilet seat after I closed it.

“mmmmm,” he moaned. “That works.”

“SHHHH. Oh…” I said, as he covered my mouth just as I yelled out.

And since it’s such a turn-on for the both of us, it was over before it began. And a good thing too, because in close quarters, it’s not as much fun as it sounds. Plus, it’s gross. But I love it. It’s scandalous.

After we made our way to the seats, I thought we were in the clear. Until the flight attendant discreetly dropped a pair of wings on my tray table as she walked by. Ooops!

Get Over It

*These events happened in October 2013*
**Editor’s note: I know it’s been a looong time, but I’m going to fill you guys in on Penny’s life for the past few months and then come back with even better adventures! Thanks for reading!**

I didn’t hear from Tony for two whole days. And I was so pissed off at his reaction, I didn’t even care. I was so relieved when my period came a day after I took that damn test. Once it arrived, I started to re-evaluate my relationship. I was not happy at his reaction. What if I had actually been pregnant? And two days, not even an apology? I didn’t even do anything wrong! All I did was tell him that I was late. His reaction really scared me. What’s going to happen when we actually have a legit argument? I mean, we’ve argued about stupid shit, specifically his relationship with Hillary, but this? A time when he should have been there to support me?

And his birthday was coming up this weekend, not to mention our California adventure (which is what I labeled it). But I was being stubborn. I deserved an apology.

“What’s up with you?” Jimmy said. It was our weekly lunch date, we hadn’t had them in a while since he was adjusting to fatherhood.

“Nothing, why?” I said, taking a bite of my sandwich and then pushing it away in disgust. I lost my appetite after our fight.

“That’s crap. You’ve been walking around all miserable for over a week. You should be pumped for your trip! I had my assistant hook you up. Plus, I’ve been getting great feedback from your screenplay,” he said, excitedly. It was tough not to cheer up around him. I gave him the abridged version of what happened.

“Why’s he being such a jerk? Babies are awesome. Imagine you were pregnant, then Winnie could be BFFs with your baby.”

“Always the optimist you are,” I said, but I couldn’t help but smile.

“Seriously though, he’ll come around. You’re awesome, and he’ll realize he messed up. Plus you got him that awesome birthday present!”

“I did.”

As I was uploading some videos to the site later, I got a text from Tony.

“I’m sorry. I miss you.”

Idiot. Apologize through text. Real mature. OK. Maybe I’m being too hard on him, but seriously? A text.

I replied, “I miss you too.” No way in hell was I apologizing.

**********************************************************

When I got home later, Tony had dinner ready at my place, complete with candles and flowers.

“You make it really hard to be mad at you, you know?” I said, as he came over and hugged me.

“I know. I fucked up. I’m sorry.”

I said nothing.

“I got scared. I’m not ready for a baby, yet.”

“Me neither! That’s why I got so mad at you! All I wanted was support and you just blew up at me, like it was my fault somehow!”

“I know, I know, I know. I shouldn’t have reacted that way.”

“And then you disappeared. Not cool, Tony. That’s not how I want us to fight. I need us to communicate. I was so scared to tell you I was late, and then to have you react like that….”

“Penny, I love you. I’m sorry. What else do you want me to say?”

“You’re right. I accept your apology. Let’s get over this, please.”

“Yes, let’s,” he said, kissing me and leading me over to the dinner table. “Look what I made! Your favorite, chicken parm, fried too – not baked!”

“So, your apology is to get me fat before our trip?” I said, smiling.

“Oh, don’t worry, we’ll be working that off later, because you’re having me for dessert.”

The Biggest Test Ever

*These events happened in October 2013*
**Editor’s note: I know it’s been a looong time, but I’m going to fill you guys in on Penny’s life for the past few months and then come back with even better adventures! Thanks for reading!**

It was a week and still no Aunt Flo. I was panicking. Everything and anything was going through my mind. Was I ready for a kid? Did I want a baby with Tony? I mean, he’s mentioned wanting kids and even marrying me. But it hasn’t even been a year. And what if my screenplay takes off? How does a baby factor into it all? Can I afford a baby? Does this mean we have to get married? What will my family think?

Needless to say, Tony figured something was up by the end of the week. I was irritable and obviously worried. I didn’t tell him yet, so not to worry him. But, when I snapped at him for the third time in a matter of an hour, I figured why not. Plus I had bought a pregnancy test that I was super scared to use.

“What the hell is up with you?” Tony said, clearly annoyed with me.

“Nothing.”

“Oh my God, Penny, seriously? You’ve been like this all week. If you’re going to act like this on our trip next week, I’m going to cancel it.”

Crap! With all this worrying, I forgot about our trip. I mean, I didn’t forget it, but I wasn’t at the forefront of my mind, as it should be. Could I even fly if I was pregnant?

“I, um….fine. I’m late.”

“Late as in for work? The gym? What?” he said, raising his eyebrows.

“Late, late.”

“Oh.” He got real quiet. Like super quiet. It felt like an eternity. I didn’t know what else to say to break the silence.

“OK,” he said, finally. “How late?”

“A week.”

“Aren’t you on the Pill? You didn’t stop or anything, did you? Like is this a trick?” he said, accusingly.

“Wow, really?” I couldn’t believe he could even say anything like that.

“Well, I don’t know, women do that shit to trap men.”

“Tony, I’m at the highlight of my career, why the fuck would I ‘trick’ you into having a baby with me? Don’t you trust me enough to have an adult conversation about children before I just ‘went off the Pill’?” Now, I was pissed.

“I just, I don’t know. I’m not ready for kids.”

“TONY! I said I was late. I didn’t say I was pregnant,” I said, taking out the test. “Here, let’s go find out together.”

It was the longest three minutes of my life as I waited and prayed that this wasn’t happening. Let me tell you, this is one test that you don’t ever want to go through unless you actually want to be knocked up.

“Well?” Tony said, he had three empty beers in front of him.

“Really? In three minutes, you drank three beers?”

“PENNY, Goddammit.”

“It’s negative. Now stop acting like an asshole.” Oops. It slipped out. But he was acting like an asshole.

“I”m an asshole??!!!??”

“No, I said you were acting like an asshole. There’s a difference.”

“I need to get some air,” he said, grabbing his coat and keys and storming out.

What. The. Fuck. Just happened?