Stronger

“How was the shower?” Trent said over dinner Sunday night.

“Oh fantastic,” I said.

I decided that I wasn’t going to make a big deal of April’s pregnancy. Was it upsetting? Yes. But I was in a different place now and I wasn’t going to let my baggage or my past affect my current life, which was really good. But I did want to tell Trent because we didn’t keep secrets and he’d know something was immediately up anyway.

“You see Tony?”

“Yup,” I said, nodding.

“How did that go?” he asked, treading carefully.

“His girlfriend is pregnant.”

“WHAT?!?!”

“Yup.”

“Wow. And she showed up at Jess’ shower to steal her spotlight or something?”

“THAT’S WHAT I SAID!” I said, relaxing because it was his answer that made me realize that I’m finally with the right person.

“Did she even know anyone there?”

“Nope.”

“Did she eat?”

“Haha. I love you baby,” I said, kissing him.

He smiled. “I love you too. Are you OK for real though?”

“Yes, I am. At least I think I am. I’m a strong person. This only makes me stronger.”

“It’s OK if you’re upset, you know that right? I don’t want you to hide your feelings because you think it will bother me.”

“I know. I mean, does it bother me? Yes. But what can I do about it? I can’t make her not pregnant. The next time I see them will be at Jess’ wedding, and then I won’t ever have to see or hear from them ever again. And until, I’m going to focus on my awesome, amazing boyfriend and my awesome and amazing TV show I created.”

“I think you’re awesome and amazing. Want to get out of here?” he asked.

“Yes, yes I do.”

*************************

Since the studio was dark this week for the Tonight Show, I spent my days over at the Queens office. We have two more weeks of taping and then I get to be entrenched in editing, perfecting each episode and hoping we don’t have to re-shoot any scenes.

Monday, I hunkered down with Matt for the day, outlining where we’d like to take the second season if we got picked up.

“So, how was this weekend? The new girl show up? Get any new writing material for us?” he asked.

I laughed, because the truth was I did have a lot of writing material. In fact, the whole series is based loosely on my life – just taken to the extreme. Though, some shit I couldn’t even make up if I tried. Like the most recent turn of events.

“Actually, I do,” I said.

“Do tell.”

“She did show up, very pregnant.”

“What the fuck? Really? Seriously Pen, that’s amazing. I mean, it’s not amazing news, but sometimes I feel like we don’t even have to make up stories with these episodes,” he said.

“Oh, I am aware.”

“Are you OK though?”

“Yea. I am. I mean, I was obviously upset, but then when Tony tried to apologize, I just got angry.”

“Wait, he apologized for getting her pregnant? Or for not telling you? Or?”

“Honestly, Matt. I don’t even think he knew what he was apologizing for,” I said, sighing. “But it’s OK. What doesn’t kill me makes me stronger, right?”

*******************************

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me?” Lizzy said, hitting my arm.

“Because you’re busy with wedding stuff. You’re getting married in four days.”

“I know! But seriously? What a dick? Both of them.”

“Haha. Let’s talk about something else. Are you all set? Do you need help with anything?”

“Nope. Getting my dress tomorrow, then rehearsal dinner, then chilling out. Counting down the minutes to my honeymoon.”

“Well cheers,” I said, raising my glass. “Because the next time I see you, you’ll be a Mrs.”

“Ahhhhh.”

*********************************

When I got home from dinner with Lizzy, I got a text from Jimmy to go out east for the day with him. He wanted to talk about the series and just chill, since we really haven’t hung out in a while. I took the train on Wednesday morning and he picked me up at the station.

“Hey pal!” he said, hugging me. “How are you feeling?”

“Much better,” I said, remembering that he was talking about the attack and not the April news, which by Wednesday didn’t even seem like news anymore.

He and I caught up and got buzzed on wine. I took the late train home and went back into the office today. There was an email from the network that they wanted to schedule a meeting next week to talk about the first few episodes as well as a release date. I was pumped, but also really nervous.

“What if they don’t like it? What if they change their minds?” I said to Trent as we lay in bed waiting for #TGIT.

“You’re being ridiculous. You’ve already said they love the scripts, why would they hate it up on screen? They will probably tell you they love it and move up the release date or something,” he said, tracing a trail along my breasts down to my hips.

“I don’t know!” I moaned and then laughed as he tickled me.

“You need to stop this. But I’m glad you’re in better spirits….”

“I don’t want to talk about that anymore. I’m moving forward…with you. Let’s talk about that trip you want to take in a few weeks. Given any thought to where?”

“Bahamas? Turks and Caicos? Puerto Rico?” he said, laughing. Before we started dating, I told him about my solo trip down to PR and he got a kick out of it.

“Ha ha. Will you just fuck me already?” I said, getting frustrated as he teased my sweet spot, but refused to put his fingers inside me.

“Is this what you want?” he said, as he thrust two fingers in me.

“MMMMM, I was thinking more of this though,” I said, reaching down to stroke him.

“God, Pen. The things you do to me!”

“Well lay down, and I’ll do more.”

And just like that, all the stress and troubles melted away.